Tag Archives: love

Ten Things Every Woman Aged 18 -80 Should Have (Including the Trivial, the Controversial, and the Unarguable)…

Happy New Year everyone! 

I hope that this year proves to be prosperous and glorious for you. As we settle into this new year, I couldn’t help but think about the things that I have, the things that I’m thankful for, and the experiences that I intend to have in my lifetime. And I thought, why not share some of the things that I have, the things that I’m grateful for, and the things that I will have (in a roundabout way) with you? You guys are interested, right? So, sit down, grab a glass of wine or a cup of apple cider (both are equally yummy), get some popcorn (and a ketchup shaker from Kernels if you dare), and read on…

1. Hope


Seriously, hope is life sustaining. Life can be rough as hell sometimes (believe me, I’ve been there and bought the t-shirt on tough times and tough circumstances), but what gets you through life is having hope (and even faith) that things will eventually get better. They just have to, right? Things can’t be bad forever, and things are always changing (that’s the ebb and flow of life). There is always the possibility of a series of circumstances coming along to change your life for the better. And just think, especially when things go really sour in your life, the only way to go is up. So, dear readers please have hope; keep it alive, let it have wings, and let it keep you going, because it will.

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The Unexpected Love

Me and my little brother Ike (old picture)

He will be 12 years old this coming weekend (I can’t believe it!), and it feels like I met him just yesterday:

Ike and my guitar

Here are 12 Ike likes:

1. Writing

2.  Reading books

3. Sketching and drawing

4. Math & science

5. Eating mac & cheese

6. Friends

7.  Music

8. The guitar

9.  Dora The Explorer

10. Computer games

11. Home renovation and interior design

12. His big sister Adaora

Considering the age he’s about to be, I guess I can’t call him my little baby any more.

– Adaora

If You Care About Growth & Family

Marianna, Kahlil’s Sister (by Kahlil Gibran)

Recently I dived into the very important discussion of love, human error, and communication. I focused on the need for continued growth throughout our lifetime, and my choice to associate with other people who can acknowledge their humanity. But what about being human while growing up as a child or adolescent?

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Black Lives Matter


Black people are constantly reminded in the media how little our lives matter: “Beauty” images, television shows…all of it demonstrates what is considered valuable in society. The lighter you are the more you are valued as a person, and the more your interests are protected and supported. Meanwhile, persons of colour everywhere live with the sting of institutionalized racism, violent racism, and self-hate and internalized racism too ( as a result of all those racist-isms).

That a 12 year old child would be shot for playing with a fake gun; that Mike Brown (with his arms raised) was shot by an ‘officer’ of the law who, sometime after taking an oath to ‘serve and protect, chose to snuff out a precious life (rather than shoot at his arm or leg in order to end an alleged risk to his own life); that Trayvon Martin would be shot while walking in his own neighbourhood, where his father lives; that black people everywhere question whether they should have children, and where we should live once we have them; that we spend all our lives thinking about how to be ‘twice as good to be good enough;’ that we think  about how to explain to our parents that we don’t want to do a ‘sure thing’ job’; that we question whether or not we’re really going to get a chance to do what we really want to do in our lives..if all of this is not enough to make you sick to your stomach, then I don’t know what to say to you.

Yesterday a grand jury, the judge, and the prosecutor (who probably never worked so hard in his life to release a guilty male from justice) set the murderer of Mike Brown free. They once again reminded us that there can be no justice in a system that is unjust. How can black lives be defended when the system doesn’t even consider black people worth anything? Where is the respect for human life? I can’t see it.

If nothing else, what I took from this is how important it is for me to live my life in exactly the way that feels right to me.  When you experience first hand the impact of racism in your own life, and you are constantly reminded of how hard it is for every other black person out there (re: police brutality, literally being guilty of being black, and being shown how little regard or value there seems to be in the system for black lives), it becomes more important to focus on being with people who enrich and add value to your life. I want to tell every single person I love, just what they mean to me.


To find out more about Mike Brown’s story, please click the following links: 

Mike Brown Shooting
Jury Reaches Verdict
Eyewitness accounts 
11 Things We Learned From [——–]Account

We Lost a Sister: Karyn Washington

Karyn Washington 

You may have heard that we recently lost a beloved humanitarian, activist, and a sister in Karyn Washington. She was dealt a lot of blows in life, with the loss of her mother and other private battles, and in the end it was….well she’s not here anymore. The loss has been devastating to all of us. Karyn was a woman who gave so much of herself in the interest of empowering black women everywhere to see the beauty that is inherent in all of us. A lack of self-acceptance is something that a lot of black women struggle with, and she was a huge part of changing that.

The way she went was unexpected. To be honest, I’m still trying to make sense of it. She was going through a lot, but I didn’t know that it would all come down to a loss like this.

Even as she was living with a lot of pain, she was helping people. She was empowering black women everywhere, and she was a huge part of the solution. She still is, even though she’s no longer with us.

There is one thing I want to say about the way she went:

It’s important to take away the stigma that mental health issues have, not only on a global scale, but within the black community. Mental illness is a disease:  It is crippling, scary, ominous, and it requires just as much help as anyone fighting a disease that attacks the body.  No one wants to talk about panic disorders, depression, and other mental illnesses. If you can live with it, you do you best to. You pray about it, because you think that you’ll find all your answers there and you won’t need any more than that. But you do need more. When you feel the walls closing in on you, I ask you to override any shame, humiliation, or pride you might feel washing over you. You belong with us. We don’t want to loose you too. Go ahead and get the help you need.

Here in Canada, there are resources available to those who suffer from any kind of mental illness:

The Canadian Mental Health Association 
Kids Health Phone 
Mental Health Crisis Line
Child, Youth, & Family Crisis Line for Eastern Ontario

And in times of crisis:

Centre for Suicide Prevention
Youth at Risk of Suicide 

Don’t let her message of love, self acceptance, and the glory of black women of colour everywhere to be lost with how she went. Her legacy is still alive and well, and it won’t be forgotten.  She left this world, as the same person she always was; a loving, giving, compassionate, smart, and accomplished young woman who was interested in empowering sisters everywhere. Let’s not forget it.


Rest in Peace Karyn. We love you. You’re with God now.