Category Archives: Thoughts

Ten Things Every Woman Aged 18 -80 Should Have (Including the Trivial, the Controversial, and the Unarguable)…

Happy New Year everyone! 

I hope that this year proves to be prosperous and glorious for you. As we settle into this new year, I couldn’t help but think about the things that I have, the things that I’m thankful for, and the experiences that I intend to have in my lifetime. And I thought, why not share some of the things that I have, the things that I’m grateful for, and the things that I will have (in a roundabout way) with you? You guys are interested, right? So, sit down, grab a glass of wine or a cup of apple cider (both are equally yummy), get some popcorn (and a ketchup shaker from Kernels if you dare), and read on…

1. Hope


Seriously, hope is life sustaining. Life can be rough as hell sometimes (believe me, I’ve been there and bought the t-shirt on tough times and tough circumstances), but what gets you through life is having hope (and even faith) that things will eventually get better. They just have to, right? Things can’t be bad forever, and things are always changing (that’s the ebb and flow of life). There is always the possibility of a series of circumstances coming along to change your life for the better. And just think, especially when things go really sour in your life, the only way to go is up. So, dear readers please have hope; keep it alive, let it have wings, and let it keep you going, because it will.

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Hearing & Listening


Hearing is when you sit within ‘human hearing range’ of another person (whether they’re a ‘loved one’ or someone you work with), and you are able to use formal or informal education gathered to grasp a hearing of what another person is saying verbally.  Listening is more important: listening means you care (in some way) about the person speaking; it means you are prepared to stop, look, and actually listen (as in hear and understand what they have to say). Listening is about compromise: as much as you want to talk the ear off of another person, (whether or not you love them), listening requires a message to be sent and received (its a two person deal). Whether or not you love a person, you need to speak, stop, listen, and understand both ways. When you love somebody you are sharing conversation and feelings, and you have to love them enough to sit back and say “tell me how you feel, genuinely,” or “I think I want to hear, from you, anything that matters to you (because your voice matters to me).” It’s as simple as this: you cannot claim to love somebody if you are not willing to take the time to get to know them intimately. Knowing someone intimately is not just sexual thing, its personal too: value systems, general thoughts, feelings, dealings in life….what and who matters to someone (you say you love) is all understood and known (as part of who they are) when you close your mouth, open your ears, and listen.


We all have a voice, and it’s important that we are given room to listen; if someone stutters around you, it means that you are rushing them: they don’t feel like you will give them the necessary time needed to collect their thoughts, put them together, and explain them in a way that they feel will make sense to you. When you love somebody, you give them that time: giving of yourself is when you understand that in order to have human connections, giving, in the way that I am speaking of it now, is a very important sharing of yourself that cannot be bought (be it with slushy drinks, trinkets, or other ‘things’ that are creature comforts or tastes). They can only be felt with a listening ear and an open heart (because they are matters of the heart).

If you really love who you say you love, as I have spoken about in my posts on family and loving, then you ought to take the time to close your mouth, open up both your ears, and listen.

– A