If You Love Somebody


I’m always thinking about what makes someone the kind of person that you want to share your life with (as a partner), or generally share collective memories with (in the case of family and friends).  After much deliberation, I have come to the conclusion that I only want anything to do with people who know that they are imperfect human beings (who will always be willing and able to grow and learn with me).  If you see yourself as a man or woman without any faults, you better patent what it is that you do, so all of us human error rich people can make ourselves as perfect as you are.

I want to keep learning, growing, and evolving with my fellow imperfect group of friends an family. Through all the struggles I have encountered in my life, the only thing that has kept me going is the hope of getting to a place where I could enjoy a life that reflects who I am and what I deserve. As proud and full of love for myself as I am today, there is still a lot for me to know and learn in this life.

Life is a thing where, no matter how many books you can read, you have to figure it out as you go along. Its the only way.  The one thing you can control (to an extent) is who you get through life with: The people you choose to associate with are the ones you get to shift around to your liking. This is exactly why my only resolution for 2015 (which I intended to keep for the rest of my life) is to strive to continue to grow and evolve with the people I love the most. I want to solidify my emotional support system, spend more time with these people, and continue to push forward in my career. 2013 and 2014 was all about me trying to get my career together, and manage my singular life. The result of this was not so good: when real shit hit the fan (which it really really did), I didn’t have the immediate access to my usual’s. Rather than staying in touch with the people who I am happiest to be around, I caved into the pressure to get my money and career life together. It was a very lonely time for me.

When it comes to your people, there is a floating perception that they ought to be around the same age as you. Personally, I find this to be a bogus pseudo science that has been pushed in society…

There are old males and wise men. There are old women and wise women. Just because you have reached a magical age (circa 40, 50, 60, or 70 something) doesn’t mean you’ve ‘got it together’ mentally or emotionally. Age is just a thing that tells me when you were born, and what you may or may not think that makes of you. When it comes to maturity, focus, and dedication to yourself and your family I’m looking much deeper into you.

Humans are meant to learn for all of their life: We have to make mistakes, learn from them, and become better people for it.  That person you met some years ago, had an amazing connection with, chose to walk away from out of fear (a very human emotion) in the frenzy of life, and are trying to find a way back to? Go ahead and make contact. Admit that you reacted to your feelings, as all humans do, reintroduce yourself to him or her, and take those important steps to learn and grow together. We were all meant to be here and do something with our lives. The missing part that comes with people understanding that they have a purpose in this world, is that we forget there are people we are meant to share and enjoy life with.  It should be a priority to find the person and extended network you want to spend your life with.

You cannot care or love enough. Aside from saying ‘I love you’ and doing sweet things to show how much you love, listening is the thing that really shows me how much you care about me. As a partner and as a friend, I have promised to share myself and my heart with you, so I have to ask that you give me the same courtesy.


-Kahlil Gibran on Beauty 

If you believe that God is real (as I do), feel free to pray about it. If you don’t, then go within and make an effort to prioritize how it is you intend to reintroduce yourself to the people you see every day (and may unknowingly neglect emotionally every time you don’t ask them how their day was, or choose not to catch up on their values and goals in life), and also those who you haven’t seen in a while. Build and repair relationships with people you love.  In the past, I have neglected some relationships with friends who to this day mean the world to me. In my being neglected by some people in my life, I have come to understand that the family I am trying to make must be (and will always be) my priority. There cannot be anything more satisfying than coming home to a happy home, where you have created true peace of mind and spirit, and can welcome genuine friends in into it. That is what my 2015 and forever is about. Life means nothing and is nothing if you don’t have someone to share the ups and not so happy times with.



– Adaora


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